Diary of an Exhausted Black Female Writer: The Drama of NaNoWriMo

I’d be lying if I said I’ve been focused thus far for NaNoWriMo 2017. I was supposed to give you guys my weekly update, starting with week one last week, but I was disappointed at my lack of dedication and focus. And the worst part is that I have no idea why I’m so lackadaisical. I literally have had time but my mind won’t function properly. Or maybe my fingers don’t feel like typing. I have no clue but plenty of excuses as you can see.

So I’m forcing this post out because it’s time for a change. After listening to Gary V. keeping it 110% this morning on The Breakfast Club, I’ve got to file away these million-and-one excuses and get back to my passionate grind.

Let me summarize what Gary said:
Stop looking at others and thinking they are lucky to be where they are. Refocus that attention on applauding their plight, shifting to positive energy and see if that energy reflects back on you. You may have to cut out some important people in your life – his example was your mother – that may be holding you back. They probably don’t even know that they are doing so with their contradictory or deconstructive language, so you must take it upon yourself to leave them where they need to be for you to succeed. Lastly (but not really because he dropped so much more knowledge that you’ll have to tune in for the dets), if you’re not loving what you are doing, you will not be successful at doing it. If you are not willing to get your hands dirty, stand outside in the rain or snow for eight hours to get what you need, stay late night after night, make sacrifices that others aren’t willing to make, then you WILL NOT succeed.

That’s it folks. #RealTalk. A true wake-up call for me. I love writing. I’m exhausted from life’s up and downs, but damnit, I can’t stop. You can’t stop. Keep forcing yourself to push through the dark or slow times. You have one lifetime to shine your extraordinary light. Let’s do it together.

With passion,

FYI, word-count for this month is only 700 but at least I’m writing something. What are you doing? #challengeyourself #writethroughitall


#writerslife Working on My Ship

There are so many moments in life where we lose ourselves in the world’s chaos. Moments where our roles overlap so much that we lose sight of how valuable it is to give each responsibility their necessary nurturing.

That has happened to me over, and over, and over again. And, I understand that will continue to happen again and again if I don’t openly receive the messages, signs, or green lights that God has put so masterfully in front of me.
Where is this thought coming from or going? Let me share…

I’m in editing mode of my next book. The book that I want to pitch to agents and publishing houses. A book that I know tells a story that is new, sexy and introspective. Hence, my due diligence to get it right.

But trying to get it right has been muddled with so many other existing priorities that I’m trying to juggle at the same time; each losing steam because honestly, my brain is exhausted.

So, I come into work today, thinking solely about how to prioritize my work for the day, and notice a uniquely shaped purple package on my desk.

Befuddled by this object, I open it before sitting down to find out that it’s a card, pens and an angel.

Two pens exclaim the message “Tell Your Story” and “Writing Is My Happy Place”. Then tears began to fill up my eyes because it is true. Writing IS my happy place because it lets me tell my story.

The Angel has “Joy” etched in her robe, with an open embrace to the sky.
The card, well the card says more than I want to share in this post because of its personal message and now its home in my heart. However, I’ll sum it up like this:

Sometimes, we don’t know how our actions or words influence the world that we live in. Sometimes we only notice how chaotic it truly is and how we just need to stay afloat. But sometimes, we need a reminder that our purpose is not to “just stay afloat” but to build a ship that helps the world around us, guiding it in a direction we have been entrusted to go.



The mom of one of my close friends reminded me of that. She gave me words and gifts that woke my spirit back up to complete this book, and the others that will soon follow, to keep blogging and sharing these moments because they are truths in many ways, and can empower those who may not feel that they can also “build a ship”.


“…empower those who may not feel that they can also ‘build a ship’.”

Have you started working on your “ship” yet? You definitely should. I’ll continue to work on mine too.

Stay passionate!

Why I almost gave up writing yesterday


Yesterday I asked myself, what the hell are you doing? Writing!? For what? Fuck writing. You don’t have enough followers on your social channels. You haven’t heard back from the one agent you submitted to. You haven’t finished any of the stories/novels that you say you want to publish. What in all the hell are you really doing?

And my answer to myself was a plain I don’t know.

Defeated couldn’t describe my mental state yesterday. My soul was dark and my eyes were clouded. I couldn’t see where I was going anymore and I almost gave up writing.
It was like my mind wanted something different but I didn’t know what that “want” was exactly. More results maybe. More followers and likes. More finished projects. Just more. But why?


I’ve been told many times that you have to savor those amazing moments; live in the blessing that you’ve received. One of my most amazing writing moments was the day I released my first book. I was in heaven for that day but by the next day, I was lost in “what the hell is next?”

Honestly, that’s one of my biggest problems as a writer—hell probably as a person—is that I miss out those savory moments. I’m so caught up in “what’s next” or “do more” or “why are you…” that it mentally drains my will and passion.

Some days we’ve got to ask ourselves what have we done to understand why we have and continue to do it.


As writers, in any capacity, we have given the world our words. Words that once they are out, are etched in stone, on the world wide web (remember when we use to say that…ok I digress), or up in the cloud, or in our audience’s mind. We share our thoughts with no real clue how the world may receive our message. As dangerous, scary or rejuvenating as it may be, it’s the biggest and most important what to our journey.

Toni Morrison already told us that “If there’s a book that you want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.”

We write because we love to do it. If you’re like me, you love to do it so much that you get up early and go to bed late just to get out your story because you have to.

That’s what the fuck we are doing. We are fulfilling our purpose by telling a story that needs to be told. Let’s not lose focus on that. So what if it takes us months or years to get it out, it’s the action that matter’s most. An action that keeps us sane and thriving. An action that is the key to our creative joy.

Push through writer’s block. Push through your doubts and worries about how the audience will receive your message. Push through the unknowns of this journey because it WILL be worth it. God gave us this gift for a reason and we MUST NOT take it lightly.

I almost gave up writing yesterday, until I realized that this gift was directly from God and it’s exactly what I should be doing to leave my legacy.


#WritersLife Finally my NaNoWriMo Recap!

November was a beast; a beautiful beast but a beast nonetheless. Even though I didn’t hit my mark of 50,000 words by Nov. 31, I still knocked out over 22,000 words and learned new tricks for 2017. Check out my recap.

Oh…and I did release my second book last month too!